Spoken Intro
This is my covenant with you and your descendants after you, the covenant you are to keep: Every male among you shall be circumcised.
You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and you.
Book of Genesis, chapter seventeen, verses ten and eleven.
Verse 1
Old Abraham in Hebron stayed,
But kids with Sarah none were made.
He prayed to God, the Lord above,
But got a bastard out of love.
Verse 2
Then God showed up with tired eyes,
Said: “Abraham, enough of cries!
Let’s make a covenant divine —
You get my bless, foreskin is mine.”
Verse 3
Your wife will bear, your line will grow,
From you the mighty kings shall flow.
I’ll give your heirs the promised land,
But cut your foreskin — My demand.
Chorus
You’d like to live in paradise?
Then take the blade and circumcise!
Your faith is strong, but you’re blind.
You gave Him dick, get back in kind.
Verse 4
The Lord who made both earth and skies,
Who claims to see through mortal lies,
Still gathers penis skins as proof —
Doesn’t it look like goddamn goof?
Verse 5
So Abraham obeyed the deal,
And cut himself to get it sealed!
But what he got? Just war and sand.
The kings are gone, the blood still ran.
Chorus
You’d like to live in paradise?
Then take the blade and circumcise!
Your faith is strong, but you’re blind.
You gave Him dick, get back in kind.
Verse 6
Four thousand years have rolled on by,
The rule still stands, don’t ask me why.
You can’t dock tails on cats or pups,
But baby dicks? Still holy cuts!
Verse 7
Some say Abe’s dreams were overpowered,
The promised milk and honey soured.
But if you tried to sue that fraud —
Who can you blame for it? Your God?
Chorus
You’d like to live in paradise?
Then take the blade and circumcise!
The deal is mad, beyond all sane.
You give Him dick, get back the same.